Day 43 – This Is How We Do It

“What does politically correct mean? If you’re fat, don’t ask me if you’re fat, because I’m gonna tell you the truth. You’re fat”

~ Charles Barkley

205.6 lbs.

So far on this blog I’ve talked about how being obese can really screw up your body, lead to long term health problems, drop your testosterone, and other fun effects. I’ve also shown (first hand) how a drastic starvation diet, while effective in reducing one’s mass, also reduces one’s muscle mass, ability to sleep regular hours, have regular BMs, have a regular social life, etc.

Lately my inbox has filled up with messages that, if they were all smooshed together then boiled down to their essence, would read something like “okay, smarty, you’re telling us to change how we eat but anorexia is as lethal as being a beachball with eyes… so if starvation is so bad, how do we get there from here?”

There are actually a few tips I can give you that can help you drop3-5 lbs a week in a safe, sane way.

What to Eat

1) Plan your meals in advance. As in the day before. For some this may be the hardest, as many of us are foragers… not knowing what we’re hungry for until we see it in the fridge or cupboard. But living on 250-400 calories a day I’ve had to carefully plan what I’m going to eat and when; you’re getting off easy by planning out 2,000 – 2,500 kCals a day.

I don’t mean count every grain of rice and map out every ingredient. Just have a plan. “Tomorrow I’ll have a homemade egg mcmuffin for breakfast, lunch will be a large salad with lean chicken, and for supper a sub sandwich with mustard, easy on the cheese and hold the mayo”. That sort of thing. This way you’re less likely to impulsively eat crappy foods.

2) Foraging is good. In the example above I used breakfast, lunch, and dinner but if you can break your eating up into 5 or 6 small meals throughout the day, even better. Your body is constantly digesting, which keeps your metabolism humming along at a more regular pace, and you feel full so you’re less likely to snack between meals. This reassures the body that you’re not going to starve and it responds by having a less aggressive fat storage response. Notice it’s 5 – 6 small meals a day…

3) Cook lots, eat little. If you make enough to feed a few people, then coast on those leftovers for a while, you don’t feel like you’re spending all your spare time preparing food. As you have your 5-6 small meals per day, often you can just choose one of an assortment of leftovers for something quick and satisfying.

4) Quantity is King. SMALL meals. I can’t emphasize that enough. You want to drop from however many calories you used to eat, down to between 1,500 kCal to 2,000 kCal. No more frappés from Starbucks or McDonald’s, k? In fact, knock off the coffee all together.

5) Fibre – The Forgotten Food Element. Seriously; eating lots of fibre helps keep your appendix happy, so you don’t build up a clot of toxic crap inside, and because it takes more energy to digest it bolsters your metabolism.

6) Water, water, everywhere. Drink lots of it. And not in coffee, chuckles. Or surprisingly calorie dense fruit juices. W-a-t-e-r. It helps your body metabolize fat, so as your caloric intake goes down and activity goes up the water helps your body turn to your love handles for the energy it needs, rather than digesting your muscles or organs. Don’t like plain water? Fine. Have Crystal Light calorie free flavoured water then. Wuss.

What to Do

1) Two quick workouts a day. 20 mins of situps and pushups in the morning, another 20 at night before you brush your teeth and say hi to Winkin, Blinkin, and Nod.Or, if you’re not into situps and pushups, skip rope. Or do aerobics. Whatever. But 20 mins of activity (without long pauses between activities. 20 mins of situps doesn’t mean do 5, lay there for 10 minutes, do 5 more…)

2) Push It Real Good. When doing your 20 mins, make it hard cardio. If you can keep your heart rate in the 80% range for your age, this will raise your metabolic rate for up to 12 hours.

3) Pick ‘Em Up, Put ‘Em Down. Do some bicep curls one day, tricep lifts the next. Throw in some chest flys or military press-ups.

Pop into Wal-Mart or another store with a sports section and pick up some inexpensive weights. You don’t need a whole home gym to get started – some 5 to 35 lb. dumbells will do, depending on your strength level.Within a few weeks you’ll probably be buying the next weight size up, but for now buy ones you can lift 8-12 times in a row before you need a break.

As I’ve said before on this blog strength training increases the tone of your muscle and makes you burn more calories passively when you’re just sitting on your butt between workouts.

4) Beware the Forbidden Fruit. If Adam & Eve had only chopped down that tree and burnt it for firewood they wouldn’t have had temptation right there in front of ‘em. Gather up all the unhealthy snacks in your house – chips, cookies, frozen pizza pups & pudding pops, etc. and throw them out. Don’t tell yourself “Well once I finish these, I’ll start a diet.” Because you’ll end up eating a LOT of ‘em in a short time, and even if you don’t resupply them that’s just packing on a few more lbs. and making your weight loss goal harder to attain.

So there you have it – real-world advice for real world weight loss. Is it a “magic bullet”? Not really. It’s simple, but not easy. You need to take everything on this list to heart and not just start eating Doritos 6 times a day instead of 3 or drinking water when washing down bacon double cheeseburgers.

But if you’re serious about making a change – for your sex life, your long-term health, or to fit into that outfit you can’t get into yet without a crowbar and duct tape… then try following these tips for a month, and let me know how it worked out for you.