25 Confessions – Behind The Scenes In The Restaurant Biz

I’ve only worked in one restaurant in my life. it was as a dishwasher at a Mexican restaurant in downtown Vancouver, and at the time I thought it was awesome. I got all the pop and tortilla chips I could eat, the cooks would ‘screw up’ an order now and then and send it my way, and all I had to do was load dirty dishes onto a rack and feed them into the industrial dishwasher.

I didn’t deal with customers but I still got a share of the tip pool. At that particular restaurant the waitress would take 50% of the tips her customers left, and the other half was split between the kitchen and host staff. All in all I was making good money for a 17 year old, for mindless not-too-strenuous physical labour.

In more general terms, the restaurant industry can be cutthroat. Those on the front lines sometimes have to deal with rude customers, and customers sometimes have to put up with shady practices. A few insiders share their thoughts and give us an inside look at what is really going on when you’re busy looking over the menu.

“In most restaurants, after 8 p.m. or so, all the coffee is decaf because no one wants to clean two different coffeepots.” says Charity Ohlund, a Kansas City waitress. “I’ll bring out a tray with 12 coffees on it and give some to the customers who ordered regular, others to the ones who ordered decaf. But they’re all decaf.

“Now that I’ve worked in a restaurant, I never ask for lemon in a drink.” she continues. “Everybody touches them. Nobody washes them. We just peel the stickers off, cut them up, and throw them in your iced tea.”

Has she ever spat in the food of an arrogant customer? “I’ve never seen anybody do anything to your food,” Charity says, “but I have seen servers mess with your credit card. If a server doesn’t like you, he might try to embarrass you in front of your business associate or date by bringing your credit card back and saying, ‘Do you have another card? This one didn’t go through.’”

Are there ways that customers can piss off a waiter inadvertently, while otherwise being nice and polite? “Ask for hot tea,” says Christopher Fehlinger, maître d’ at a popular New York City restaurant. “For some reason, an industry that’s managed to streamline everything else hasn’t been able to streamline that. You’ve got to get a pot, boil the water, get the lemons, get the honey, bring a cup and spoon. It’s a lot of work for little reward.”

Hopefully you don’t take milk in your tea. Chris points out that “Skim milk is almost never skim milk. Very few restaurants outside Starbucks carry whole milk, 2 percent milk, skim milk, and half-and-half. It’s just not practical.”

He also offers a handy tip for people who dine out a lot. “It’s much easier to be recognized as a regular on Mondays, Tuesdays, or Wednesdays” Chris states. “Once you’re recognized as a regular, good things start to happen. You’ll find your wineglass gets filled without being put on your bill, or the chef might bring you a sample.”

He also indicates that my experiences as a dishwasher receiving a chunk of the tip pool isn’t an uncommon one. “In many restaurants, the tips are pooled – so if you have a bad experience with the server [and don't leave a tip], you’re stiffing the bartender who made your drinks, the water boy who poured your water, sometimes the hostess, the food runners, and maybe the other waiters.”

Of course, if you have a bad experience, in my opinion there’s no reason you should tip. If one waiter or waitress is constantly bringing in low tips, others will notice and the situation will correct itself one way or another.

If the bad experience is slow service though, sometimes that’s fault of the customer – not the waiter – Judi Santana points out. “People think that just because your food took a long time, it’s the server’s fault. Nine times out of ten, it’s the kitchen. Or it’s the fact that you ordered a well-done burger.”

Then again sometimes the slow service is the wait staff just being slow. “If you’re looking for your waiter and another waiter tells you he’s getting something out of the stockroom,” leaks Charlie Kondek, former waiter at a Denny’s in Central Michigan, “you can bet he’s out back having a quick smoke.”

Sometimes it’s laziness. “If someone orders a frozen drink that’s annoying to make, I’ll say, ‘Oh, we’re out. Sorry!’ when really I just don’t want to make it,” admits a waitress at a casual Mexican restaurant in Manhattan, who won’t reveal her name for fear of being auctioned off and used as a pinata once customers know her secret. Especially when she goes on to say “…but if you order water instead of another drink, suddenly we do have what you originally wanted because I don’t want to lose your drink on the bill.”

But when customers do get good, fast service and leave a tip, Judi has also noticed trends. “The best tippers tend to be middle-class or people who have worked for everything they have, not the really wealthy or the kid who inherited the trust fund. Which is not to say that we mind if you use coupons. But when you do, tip on the amount the bill would have been without them.”

Sometimes you get more, or less, of something than you expect. A waitress at a well-known pizza chain, speaking on conditions of anonymity, tells me “We put sugar in our kids’ meals so kids will like them more. Seriously. We even put extra sugar in the dough for the kids’ pizzas.”

Does she reveal the caloric addition to their food? “If you ask me how many calories are in a particular dish, I’m not allowed to tell you even if I know. I’m supposed to say, ‘All that information is available online.’”

There’s a lot they’re not allowed to say, according to her. “We’re not allowed to tell our customers we don’t like a dish. So if you ask your server how something is and she says, ‘It’s one of our most popular dishes,’ chances are she doesn’t like it.”

What about those “homemade salad dressings” featured on so many menus? According to former waiter Jake Blanton, who spent ten years in restaurants in Virginia, North Carolina, and California “Some places buy salad dressings in one-gallon jars, then add a few ingredients, like a blue cheese crumble or fresh herbs, and call it homemade.”

“Even at the best breakfast buffet in the world,” Jake goes on to reveal, “99 times out of 100 the big pan of scrambled eggs is made from a powder.”

“At a lot of restaurants, the special is whatever they need to sell before it goes bad.” says Kathy Kniss, who waited tables for ten years in Los Angeles. “Especially watch out for the soup of the day. If it contains fish or if it’s some kind of “gumbo”, it’s probably the stuff they’re trying to get rid of.”

Derek Dudley, a waiter at a casual pizza restaurant in Phoenix, was quick to offer the following advice: “If the restaurant is busy and your child is shy, please order for him. Kids can sit there forever trying to decide, or they whisper and you can’t hear them. Meanwhile, the people at the next table are yelling at you to come over.”

One waiter who doesn’t want his name published admits “If you’re a vegetarian and you ask if we use vegetable stock, I’m going to say yes, even if we don’t. You’ll never know the difference.”

“Don’t order fish on Sunday or Monday, says Steve Dublanica, who has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show and runs a blog called Waiter Rant. “The fish deliveries are usually twice a week, so Tuesday through Friday are great days. Or ask the restaurant when they get theirs.

“Avoid Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day like the black plague,” Steve also observes. “It’s crazy busy, so they’re not going to be able to pay as much attention to quality. Plus, they bring out a special menu where everything is overpriced.”

I once got a dirty fork at an upscale pasta place on Valentine’s day, and had it replaced with another dirty fork, then got dagger-eyes when I asked for yet another replacement, so I must agree out of experience.

Seeing so many people come and go, waiters and waitresses often get a glimpse into how the company one keeps affects their behavior. “When you’re with the woman who’s not your wife,” notes Caroline Radaj, waitress at a members-only club outside Milwaukee, “you’re a lot nicer to us, probably because you know that we know it’s not your wife.”

Jeremy Burton, waiter at a grill in southwest Michigan, has a similar observation. “First dates, especially blind Internet dates, are great for tips. You know he’ll probably order a bottle of wine and leave a 20% to 25% tip because he’s showing off.”