Food Wars

I recently showed the following to a friend of mine. Her reaction: “Jamba juice is real?” Apparently Jamba Juice has been made fun of so many times, some people assume it’s just a joke.

Like some other drink chains (be it coffee, smoothies, or whatever) the drinks are pretty pricey. They also got in some hot water over an allegedly ripped-off ad campaign that John Hodgman (@hodgman) of The Daily Show and Mac ads fame tweeted about  - though to be fair David Rees, the artist they accuse Jamba Juice of ripping off, buys clip art for his material and it appears Jamba Juice merely bought the same clip art.

An aside: to see John Hodgman at his best, check out this hilarious and sweet TED talk he gave over at TED.com.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Jamba Juice could also be on The Daily Show; specifically the “You’re not Helping!” segment. Decisions like releasing their own clothing line are fairly cringe-worthy. Neon-green hoodies that say “official taste taster”? Seriously? Well, whatever floats your boat I suppose.

But when McDonald’s, who copied Dairy Queen’s Blizzard with their own McFlurry, decided to go after the smoothie market with their “real fruit smoothies” (made from purées), Jamba Juice decided to strike back like the Empire. JJ cooked up a fake ad to drive their point home. The product? A new drink called the “cheeseburger chill”.

Jamba Juice carries the joke even farther, describing the drink as “beefy, smothered in cheese, loaded with your favorite condiments and blended to creamy perfection.” I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Smoothie places like Jamba Juice often position themselves as “healthy” – but are they? Their Chocolate Moo’d Power Smoothie in the 30 fl oz size (about 887ml) it clocks in at 900 calories with 166g of sugar hidden in there. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little more.

When it comes to dining in fast food establishments I prefer sub shops like Subway or Quiznos. At least I can pick the bread, toppings, and sauces.

But I do have to admit the fake commercial is pretty frakkin’ funny.